Bless him, for the sacrifices
Bless him, for the dedication
Bless him, for the determination
Bless him, for the neurosis
Bless him, for the humanity
Bless him, for the caring
Bless him, for the hope
Bless him, for the wins
Bless him, for enduring the losses
Bless him, for being a warrior
And Bless him, for not taking an easy path
God Bless my oncologist
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Why my oncologist was catching a flight tonight
http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/health/drugs/2011-03-25-bristol-myers-melanoma-drug.htm?csp=34news
The FDA has approved a new drug for late stage melanoma. My oncologist was part of the research team that developed it and was flying out to Dallas tonight for the meeting on the release of the drug.
When you read the article it might not seem like they achieved such a big thing but as my oncologist explained it this is the first time they have been able to achieve this. This being what this drug does. I can't really explain it the article does a better job. But, what is even more exciting is that my doctor said this is really the first step towards finding a vaccine for cancer. And while this is for advanced melanoma their next step is looking at this use for other types of cancer.
Now, that is exciting. And this is not a chemo but, another antibody like I'm on.
The FDA has approved a new drug for late stage melanoma. My oncologist was part of the research team that developed it and was flying out to Dallas tonight for the meeting on the release of the drug.
When you read the article it might not seem like they achieved such a big thing but as my oncologist explained it this is the first time they have been able to achieve this. This being what this drug does. I can't really explain it the article does a better job. But, what is even more exciting is that my doctor said this is really the first step towards finding a vaccine for cancer. And while this is for advanced melanoma their next step is looking at this use for other types of cancer.
Now, that is exciting. And this is not a chemo but, another antibody like I'm on.
Scans are Good!
Well, it's official my CAT scan came back clean. No cancer found anywhere.
My MUGA which was the heart scan was good too.
My tumor markers are all good.
My oncologist was very happy with me.
What the CAT scan did reveal is that I have a kidney stone but, it is not obtrusive and it is stable. So it was just an FYI you have one. Would rather not know that truthfully. I also have a cyst in the other kidney. It is not causing any trouble either. Would rather not know that either. I have cysts in my liver. I knew that from the PET. Those aren't causing any problems either. Apparently I had a kidney stone on the PET last year too. I don't remember it being mentioned but, of course at that time we were focused on the cancer tumor. There has been no change in the stone since last year. And as my oncologist said for all we know the stone has been there for 10 years.
So all is quiet for now. Let's all enjoy the peace.
My MUGA which was the heart scan was good too.
My tumor markers are all good.
My oncologist was very happy with me.
What the CAT scan did reveal is that I have a kidney stone but, it is not obtrusive and it is stable. So it was just an FYI you have one. Would rather not know that truthfully. I also have a cyst in the other kidney. It is not causing any trouble either. Would rather not know that either. I have cysts in my liver. I knew that from the PET. Those aren't causing any problems either. Apparently I had a kidney stone on the PET last year too. I don't remember it being mentioned but, of course at that time we were focused on the cancer tumor. There has been no change in the stone since last year. And as my oncologist said for all we know the stone has been there for 10 years.
So all is quiet for now. Let's all enjoy the peace.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Food Fears
Okay I know in a past post I ranted about how I was not going to become afraid of my food just because of cancer. I know I ranted that it is not rational and just gives people a sense of control when we have none over so much in our lives.
I know this. And then my oncologist told me to avoid foods that will raise my insulin because of the type of cancer I had. So I went on a low GI diet. And now I have taken that even further and eat minimally processed organic whole foods. As much as possible. And yes those of you who know me, know I have ranted about the organic thing being bogus.
Time to eat more than organic. Time to eat my words. There is a difference. The organic food. Taste better. It does damn it. And you can really tell when you have been eating the clean stuff for a while and then something unorganic slips by you.
Your taste buds stand up and shout what the fuck was that?
I've been drinking Dutch Brothers coffee on Sundays. It toots 100% chemical free. Not sure on the organic side. But, this Sunday morning I decided since I was running low on the Dutch Brothers to go ahead and brew the french roast coffee from Target. I've had this coffee not too long ago. I poured myself a cup and though whoa what's that Windex smell? Where is that coming from? Sweet baby Jesus. It was the coffee. Strong coffee smell with a strong shot of chemical. Yuk. Out it went. I didn't even taste it.
So the chemical free, organic makes a difference. In my body, I don't know. But, my taste buds are now ruined for any chemically treated stuff.
It just tastes bad.
And I'm not afraid of my food.
Just very selective.
Thank heavens for the Whole Foods that opened by my house.
I know this. And then my oncologist told me to avoid foods that will raise my insulin because of the type of cancer I had. So I went on a low GI diet. And now I have taken that even further and eat minimally processed organic whole foods. As much as possible. And yes those of you who know me, know I have ranted about the organic thing being bogus.
Time to eat more than organic. Time to eat my words. There is a difference. The organic food. Taste better. It does damn it. And you can really tell when you have been eating the clean stuff for a while and then something unorganic slips by you.
Your taste buds stand up and shout what the fuck was that?
I've been drinking Dutch Brothers coffee on Sundays. It toots 100% chemical free. Not sure on the organic side. But, this Sunday morning I decided since I was running low on the Dutch Brothers to go ahead and brew the french roast coffee from Target. I've had this coffee not too long ago. I poured myself a cup and though whoa what's that Windex smell? Where is that coming from? Sweet baby Jesus. It was the coffee. Strong coffee smell with a strong shot of chemical. Yuk. Out it went. I didn't even taste it.
So the chemical free, organic makes a difference. In my body, I don't know. But, my taste buds are now ruined for any chemically treated stuff.
It just tastes bad.
And I'm not afraid of my food.
Just very selective.
Thank heavens for the Whole Foods that opened by my house.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Sometimes....
Life just sucks ass!!!
Was suppose to see Jake Shimishimi (I can't spell his name) he is great. I love Jake. For about a youtube clip's worth. Then I'm done.
But the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain. I've been wanting to see them since I found them on youtube!! They inspired the name of my blog for God's sake!
And they were suppose to play tonight. And at the last minute I found out they weren't.
I went to the Orange County Performing Art Center website to verify which venue we were going to and I notice there was Jake. Jake all over the place but no mention of the ukulele orchestra. Uh oh. And yes my fears were confirmed. The ukulele orchestra's website states that their funding fell through. How I have to wonder. The show was sold out. Anyway major bumming.
And well, I like Jake but, if he had been playing alone from the start I wouldn't have bought the tickets.
So I called to get credit. I just wanted credit to see something else.
Lord. What a headache. Nasty people. I talked to three people until finally one of them took my name a number and said a representative from the philharmonic would call me. Don't ask I have no idea. And he did call. And told me that I need to call the day ahead to get a credit or refund. Well, gee I said if I had known I needed to call to do a head count and make sure all the performers I was PAYING to see was showing up I would have. It's not like this was on the 6 o'clock news. I just found out! Look, if you sold tickets to Simon and Garfunkel and Garfunkel didn't show you would give a refund. Don't give me this crap you know how this works. I was willing to go with a credit but, now you are giving me a refund. I live locally. I have choices of venues. You guys call me all the time to solicit tickets and you can just take me off you calling list or give me a refund.
He gave me a full refund.
I hate going menopausal on people. I really do. But, dang it. When you tell someone, here is the problem and it's legit and here's how you can fix it, just fix it damn it. Don't give me crap.
So I'm watching Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain youtube clips tonight.
And it sucks ass.
Was suppose to see Jake Shimishimi (I can't spell his name) he is great. I love Jake. For about a youtube clip's worth. Then I'm done.
But the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain. I've been wanting to see them since I found them on youtube!! They inspired the name of my blog for God's sake!
And they were suppose to play tonight. And at the last minute I found out they weren't.
I went to the Orange County Performing Art Center website to verify which venue we were going to and I notice there was Jake. Jake all over the place but no mention of the ukulele orchestra. Uh oh. And yes my fears were confirmed. The ukulele orchestra's website states that their funding fell through. How I have to wonder. The show was sold out. Anyway major bumming.
And well, I like Jake but, if he had been playing alone from the start I wouldn't have bought the tickets.
So I called to get credit. I just wanted credit to see something else.
Lord. What a headache. Nasty people. I talked to three people until finally one of them took my name a number and said a representative from the philharmonic would call me. Don't ask I have no idea. And he did call. And told me that I need to call the day ahead to get a credit or refund. Well, gee I said if I had known I needed to call to do a head count and make sure all the performers I was PAYING to see was showing up I would have. It's not like this was on the 6 o'clock news. I just found out! Look, if you sold tickets to Simon and Garfunkel and Garfunkel didn't show you would give a refund. Don't give me this crap you know how this works. I was willing to go with a credit but, now you are giving me a refund. I live locally. I have choices of venues. You guys call me all the time to solicit tickets and you can just take me off you calling list or give me a refund.
He gave me a full refund.
I hate going menopausal on people. I really do. But, dang it. When you tell someone, here is the problem and it's legit and here's how you can fix it, just fix it damn it. Don't give me crap.
So I'm watching Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain youtube clips tonight.
And it sucks ass.
Quiet
Oops things went a bit quiet around here didn't they? Well, that's because I'm busy job hunting. Yes, I want to get back in the saddle and have a life again.
So, what do you want to be when you grow up? I have no fucking idea. I envy those people who figured it out and pursued that choice. But, at the same time I wonder. I wonder did they really or do they just present that as fact. I don't know. So off I go floundering around. At least it feels that way.
So I'm doing what I did the last time I looked for a job and the time before that and the time before that. Applying for everything that's out there because it's a numbers game.
Today I applied (amongst other positions)for a school bus driver position.
Because it made me laugh.
Watch them call me!
So, what do you want to be when you grow up? I have no fucking idea. I envy those people who figured it out and pursued that choice. But, at the same time I wonder. I wonder did they really or do they just present that as fact. I don't know. So off I go floundering around. At least it feels that way.
So I'm doing what I did the last time I looked for a job and the time before that and the time before that. Applying for everything that's out there because it's a numbers game.
Today I applied (amongst other positions)for a school bus driver position.
Because it made me laugh.
Watch them call me!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
My daddy is my hero
My dad is going to be 75 next month. He is my hero.
Today he stopped by. He told me "I had a nightmare last night"
"Really?, I didn't know you had nightmares dad"
"Yeah, well if I get too hot, I'll have a nightmare. Mom had the heating blanket on last night. It got too hot"
"What was your nightmare?"
"Oh the one I always have."
"I didn't know you had a reoccurring nightmare, dad."
"Yeah, it's always the same. I get on a red eye plane to go to some city. Now the city isn't always the same. But I always know what city I'm in. Last night it was New York. I get off the plane and I get a map and I have to go to this building. I can't really read the map and I start asking people on the street to help me. Last night this guy helped me. He said oh yeah I know where that is follow me. And so I followed him for a few blocks and then he says I have to go this way now but you just keep going straight. Look for the red building and that's it. So he goes off and I take two steps and damned if I'm not instantly lost again. I went a ways but, they must have painted the building white or something because I never found the red one."
"Damn dad, are you serious?" and yes my mouth is hanging open.
"Yeah"
"Are the dreams really vivid?"
"Oh yeah, like I'm there."
"Sounds like a travel log rather than a nightmare. What exactly makes it a nightmare?"
"Well I'm all stressed out trying to find the building a I wake up with my heart beating fast."
So my dad has anxiety ridden travel log nightmares. If he could get the fear factor under control, he could be traveling all over the place for free. But, I could tell this isn't exactly a fun thing for him.
I have nightmares. I can't usually remember a damned thing but the stupid fear. I wake up scared shitless but hell if I can remember why.
Or I'll wake up and have a sense that I dreamed but, I don't know what about. Sometimes I can remember. Usually then I wish I didn't.
And sometimes I dream and it's obvious that I'm just trying to work something out. The dream makes sense and I know what it is about.
Today he stopped by. He told me "I had a nightmare last night"
"Really?, I didn't know you had nightmares dad"
"Yeah, well if I get too hot, I'll have a nightmare. Mom had the heating blanket on last night. It got too hot"
"What was your nightmare?"
"Oh the one I always have."
"I didn't know you had a reoccurring nightmare, dad."
"Yeah, it's always the same. I get on a red eye plane to go to some city. Now the city isn't always the same. But I always know what city I'm in. Last night it was New York. I get off the plane and I get a map and I have to go to this building. I can't really read the map and I start asking people on the street to help me. Last night this guy helped me. He said oh yeah I know where that is follow me. And so I followed him for a few blocks and then he says I have to go this way now but you just keep going straight. Look for the red building and that's it. So he goes off and I take two steps and damned if I'm not instantly lost again. I went a ways but, they must have painted the building white or something because I never found the red one."
"Damn dad, are you serious?" and yes my mouth is hanging open.
"Yeah"
"Are the dreams really vivid?"
"Oh yeah, like I'm there."
"Sounds like a travel log rather than a nightmare. What exactly makes it a nightmare?"
"Well I'm all stressed out trying to find the building a I wake up with my heart beating fast."
So my dad has anxiety ridden travel log nightmares. If he could get the fear factor under control, he could be traveling all over the place for free. But, I could tell this isn't exactly a fun thing for him.
I have nightmares. I can't usually remember a damned thing but the stupid fear. I wake up scared shitless but hell if I can remember why.
Or I'll wake up and have a sense that I dreamed but, I don't know what about. Sometimes I can remember. Usually then I wish I didn't.
And sometimes I dream and it's obvious that I'm just trying to work something out. The dream makes sense and I know what it is about.
Directions For Injections
Directions For Injections:
Patient drops pants
Nurse grabs lush juicy butt and makes skin taunt
Nurse swipes area with disinfectant pad
Nurse tosses needle into flesh like a dart
Nurse injects meds
Nurse pulls needle out
Nurse places on band aide (I always protest but, one gets put on anyway)
Patient pulls up pants
Bye bye
Now I need to give directions for injections because yesterday I got my Lupron shot and it hurt like a son of a bitch because the male nurse I had didn't do it right. He tried to slide the needle in. OUCH! It doesn't work that way. I said "Dude, what the hell are you doing, trying to cannulate my butt?" He says "sorry this is a rather ouchy shot" I said "no, you are not doing it right" He didn't say anything else. After I pulled up my pants I looked at him and said "no, no you don't try and slide the needle in like setting up an IV you have to toss it in like a dart". He still didn't say anything. So I looked at him some more and did the Donald Trump, pointing at him with my index finger I said "You're Fired!" and left.
Patient drops pants
Nurse grabs lush juicy butt and makes skin taunt
Nurse swipes area with disinfectant pad
Nurse tosses needle into flesh like a dart
Nurse injects meds
Nurse pulls needle out
Nurse places on band aide (I always protest but, one gets put on anyway)
Patient pulls up pants
Bye bye
Now I need to give directions for injections because yesterday I got my Lupron shot and it hurt like a son of a bitch because the male nurse I had didn't do it right. He tried to slide the needle in. OUCH! It doesn't work that way. I said "Dude, what the hell are you doing, trying to cannulate my butt?" He says "sorry this is a rather ouchy shot" I said "no, you are not doing it right" He didn't say anything else. After I pulled up my pants I looked at him and said "no, no you don't try and slide the needle in like setting up an IV you have to toss it in like a dart". He still didn't say anything. So I looked at him some more and did the Donald Trump, pointing at him with my index finger I said "You're Fired!" and left.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
This Sucks
The time change sucks. I don't care which one we are on, just leave it alone. Which is why I'm still up. I'm all screwed up on the sleeping now.
Life has enough change in it. Why the hell do we create it for ourselves?
Fuckers.
That's all I have to say on the matter.
Life has enough change in it. Why the hell do we create it for ourselves?
Fuckers.
That's all I have to say on the matter.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
What the....
I stole this from a Face Book post. Couldn't help myself. The sound effects killed me!
This is either:
A. Alternative to cosmetic surgery
B. Truly a miraculous break through that eliminates the need for dieting
C. A cure for breast cancer
D. All of the above
And I swear right around the one minute mark it sounds like he says "boobzilla"
Friday, March 4, 2011
Treading water
Ever feel like you are moving like crazy but getting no where? What is that? Seems like I have been busy lately but not accomplishing anything. Well, crap.
So today I slayed the laundry dragon and peeled more wallpaper. My car is out of commission but, I should have it back tomorrow. Along with a repair bill.
Oh life's so fun at times.
I'm going to make a list. A list of things I want to get done. And things I have to do. I've done this in the past and then when I mark them off, I can "feel" like I got something accomplished.
Hopefully this will help.
So today I slayed the laundry dragon and peeled more wallpaper. My car is out of commission but, I should have it back tomorrow. Along with a repair bill.
Oh life's so fun at times.
I'm going to make a list. A list of things I want to get done. And things I have to do. I've done this in the past and then when I mark them off, I can "feel" like I got something accomplished.
Hopefully this will help.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
MUGA shots
That's me. My arms are over my head resting on a pillow. And it's cold in there so those are heated blankets.
My dad wiggled his Iphone so you could tell this was a video!
Here are my MUGA shots.
Yes that's me in the amazing MUGA machine. They let my dad come in for the scan. Actually Chris had said he wanted to watch and I told the tech and she was very accommodating but, then Chris decided not to and my dad grab the opportunity. And of course took pictures. Because that is what us parents do. We take pictures of our kids.
The video is actually a video. That is about as riveting as a MUGA scan gets. And that is how loud it is too. Can't hear a thing.
They basically position the scan thing and let it scan. So very little moving parts to it all. AND I'm assuming the radiation levels, if any are very low because my dad was right next to me in a chair.
Anyway, I'm sure my heart function is fine because they didn't whisk me away in an ambulance to the hospital when it was done.
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