Love from my son

Simulation and update

Went for simulation yesterday. They put me into a CT-Scan. They place a "pillow" under my head and had me put my hand on the top of my head. Then they filled the pillow up with some sort of gas which filled the pillow up to surround my head and arm and then it hardened. Now I have a mold that they will use every time I go for radiation to make sure my head and arm are in the same position each time. They used some beam that was coming down from the ceiling to line me up and take measurements. My radiologist oncologist came in and he placed stickers that had wires in them on me. Then they put me into the CT scan and took some X-rays (no contrasting dye injection). Then I had to lay in the position and not move while he looked over the X-rays. And he took his sweet time about it too. Then the technician came and made all the marks on me with a marker pen. Then they covered each of those up with a round clear thin sticker. AND then they took a photo of it. I have ten marks.

I go back on Friday and they are going to put me into a real machine and do a test run. They will not be giving me any actual radiation that day. When it all looks good they will be tattooing the marks. Yes permanent tattoos. Unless I'm really opposed to tattoos then they will use a permanent marker but I'll have to be careful not to wash it off. I'm going with the tattoos because I won't have to worry about them coming off and also because it will be a permanent record of where they radiated me because you can't have radiation in the same place twice. Not sure why that is exactly but you can't. I don't want someone in the future to be guessing where the radiation took placed. The tattoos will be just dots. A lot like freckles.

I requested a butterfly.

Still no news on the HER2. Nor do I have a follow up appointment with Dr. Barth yet. Not sure what is up with that. I think I will call again this afternoon.

I'm a Hoarder!!!

Oh Lord I've discovered the awful truth. I'm a hoarder. After staying with my parents, I've come to the realization that I have a lot....OK a ton of crap I don't need or even miss when away from it so, out it is going.

My goal is to go through something everyday and clean it out. It can be a drawer or a whole piece of furniture or a whole closet at most but it can not be a whole room because I've tried that before and it takes a whole day, I get frustrated at some point and say oh forget it so I don't do a good job and then I don't try to get rid of anything else again for long time.

I'm looking at this as my job. It's not something I can shluck off. Yesterday I cleaned out the piece of furniture by my front door that the crab is on. I don't know what you call the thing. I think you are suppose to put silverware in it. Anyway I had 6, I repeat 6 telephone books in there. Who uses telephone books? Gone. A bunch of hardware stuff. I don't even know what it was for and I started off saying to myself "oh you don't know what that is so you better keep it" then I realized that was crazy if I don't know what it is for how am I ever going to use it! Gone. One whole trash bag out to the trash can.

Today it was my dresser. Wow. Another whole bag of stuff and now I'm collecting stuff for a garage sale. Yep. I have never done a garage sale and I didn't think I ever would but I was having trouble getting rid of stuff out of my dresser because well, it good stuff I'm just not using it. So I'm starting a garage sale pile in my garage. We just had the neighborhood garage sale last weekend so it will be another 6 months before the next one. Plenty of time to be all prepared.

Those are my goals.

I've been watching way too much of Clean House!

And no, I'm not getting rid of any of my ukuleles! That's where I draw the line.

Help me!

Good Lord how did she ever talk me into wearing this hat!

HER2

No news on the HER2 yet. Called on Monday to get an appointment with Dr. Barth for the 3rd week in Sept. That is when he wants to see me (about the middle of radiation). Called again and left another message today with his scheduler. Sometimes it does take her a couple of days as his schedule is crazy and I'm not top priority anymore. It's a good thing that I'm not top priority. I'm off to radiation and we are just waiting for a test result. I can't do anything about what the result of the test is and I don't have much of a choice once we do know what the result is so, I just figure I'll be told eventually. But, knowing right now wouldn't change anything. I'd be doing radiation no matter what and starting it first.

Needle biopsy Do I have cancer? Yes
MRI Is cancer in the lymph nodes? No
Ultra Sound Are we sure cancer is not in lymph nodes? Yes
Petscan Did the cancer spread? No
Oncotype Dx What is the chances of recurrence? High
MRI Did chemo get rid of tumor? Yes
Surgery/Pathology Did chemo really get rid of tumor? No

And now, am I really HER2 negative?

I'll know eventually and then I will share with you. Tomorrow is another day.

I knew the correct answer

Met my radiologist oncologist. I like him. He asked me how old my son was. I responded 16. He asked so he is in the 11 grade? I know the answer to that question, it's yes. But, when faced with a doctor I find I might has well have been injected with truth serum. So out comes oh I homeschool. Let's just say I shook the man's snow globe hard. He asked me more questions about homeschooling than I asked him about radiation!

I am scheduled for simulation on the 31st. That's is where they will put me in a simulated machine and take measurements. They will be radiating the entire breast 25 times and then the actual tumor site 8 times for a total of 33 rads. 33 drives to Hoag hospital. It could be farther and worse. The simulation will take about an hour and each visit about 15 minutes. I will see a nurse once a week and the radiologist oncologist once a week. Side effects are anything from light sunburn to tanning to blistering and peeling. The blistering and peeling they don't want happening so they gave me a list of creams and things to use. The side effects don't come on suddenly like with chemo it's a slow gradual thing and nothing will be noticeable the first two weeks. Or so they say. I think they name of the game is moisturize, moisturize. The other side effect is fatigue but, with those that have had chemo they don't notice it.

So simulation on the 31st and I'll start treatment either 2nd or 3rd.

Guess I'll start another count down.

Hair

When Bequi buzzed my head I got one day to experience having a buzzed head before chemo started. Then I just became engrossed with the other end of my body. Then my hair fell out and then I got folliculitis. I had my hats and didn't give my hair a lot of thought. But, now. Now I have a nice covering of hair on my head. Thick enough that my scalp is not showing. And I have discovered a couple of things. I now know why so many men are walking around with their heads buzzed. Because its comfortable. It is so comfortable not having hair! Also there are two things women do with their hair. One, spend time making it look good or two not feeling too good when it doesn't.

I have no bad hair days and I spend absolutely no time trying to make it look good. I roll out of bed and it looks great! Now I'm not advocating for all women to go buzz their heads because I don't think everyone looks good with a buzzed head but, I have to say, I've been blessed. I have a nice shaped head and face to go with it. It works for me.

Not sure how long I'm keeping the look but, I sure am enjoying it!