Thank God It's Not Me

I'll be talking to someone and they will ask me a question about the cancer. During my answering a look will pass across their face. That look is "thank God it's not me". It's a brief flash that is quickly replaced by guilt. Guilt for feeling this way and guilt for it not being them. Guilt for feeling relieved that it's not them. This too is quickly replaced, by compassion. Now, I'm not in anyway saying the compassion is not genuine. It is. BUT, thank God it's not you. I thank God it's not you.

The treatment for this disease is life disrupting at its best. And it brings forth the little nagging life uncertainties that we carry in the back of our brains, front and center and throws a big spot light on it.

I will share something that I have learned that I think is of value for everyone living on this planet with all its uncertainties. I visit fear because it's unreasonable to pretend it doesn't exist BUT I don't live there.

Random Profile Question of the Day #3

I am failing miserably at doing this daily. Missed yesterday.

Question:
All of the phone numbers have fallen out of your address book. Whose number do you look for first and why?

Answer:

What? How can the numbers fall out of your address book? AND if they all did fall out, well, you wouldn't be looking for anyone's phone number because it would be futile. You wouldn't be able to look for anyone's phone number because they all fell out!

They might as well have asked if you lost your phone book whose number do you look up first and why. But, look where? you lost your phone book.

If you lose your phone book, you're fucked. If all the numbers fall out of it, you're stoned.

Be aware

October is breast cancer awareness month. Now you are aware. If you see an increase of pink in your life during this month, now you know the source.

It's cold and wet....

I'm not going to park and you can't make me. I feel bad for Chris except he looked outside and said yea OK let's not go. And here I'm up to it physically. But, not enough to brave the wet and cold.

Most of it has to do with being uncomfortable. I have spent a great deal of the last six months being physically and mentally uncomfortable. Not willing to do it when I have a choice at this point.

I'm going to enjoy the weather from inside today!

Random Profile Question of the Day. #2

The squish of mud between your toes; how would you live your life as a frog?

Trying not to get eaten.

Random Question of the Day

I just went and updated my profile. It gives you the option of getting a random question. I though what the heck. Here it is:

This is a colon : and this is a semi-colon ; - what's a semi-truck?

This is my answer:

A semi-fuck. It's not a punctuation that is for damned sure. Stupid question what does that even mean?

Oh this is just too good. I can go to my profile and get a new question.

Soooooo look for the daily profile question to be posted and answered daily by me!

Until I get bored and move on to something else. But it might be interesting.

I'm a Farrell's Survivor!

Spent the afternoon celebrating my cousin's daughter's 13th birthday. What is my cousin's daughter in relationship to me anyway? Is that a second cousin? Anyone? Anyone?

I thought all Farrell's had shut down as a display of mercy on the human race but, alas it seems two have been resurrected. One in Mission Viejo and one in Santa Clarita.

It was torturous fun. She ordered the Volcano. 30 scoops of vanilla ice cream, a crazy amount of hot fudge, whip cream, etc. Lit on fire no less.

A fun time was had by all. And yes I'll confess I would go again!