Communication, Where did I fail?

I tried. I swear to GOD I tried to forge an open, honest, safe place for my son to communicate with me. I feel we have that. And THEN I feel I shouldn't have even bothered with the effort!!

DMV saga continued today with a trip to the eye doc. Son was due for an exam so full exam it was. BUT the doc looked over the form from the DMV and said "he can see better than what the DMV says." Okay. So he should have been able to pass the eye test at the DMV.

Then we take the form and head on over to the DMV to turn it in. The DMV dude says "your doctor gave him a new prescription, so when are you going to fill it because it really should be filled first." So I start talking about the slight change in the prescription and how the doc said he should have been able to pass the eye exam so I'm not sure what is going on.

So the guy has my son put his head in the box again and try to look. Of course his eyes are still dilated and he says "I can't see because my eyes are dilated." The DMV guy gives in and gives him his permit but tells me that when he does the behind the wheel test, they will test his eyes again and if he fails then he will have to take a behind the wheel test every 2 years and you don't want to have to do that so make sure he comes with his new glasses. AND the doc form is only good for 6 months. His permit is good for a year. BUT if he doesn't take the behind the wheel in six months we have to have the doc fill out another form. Whatever. If he is not ready in six months, I'll take him back to the eye doc. BUT I don't want him to have to take the behind the wheel every two years!

So I ask the guy what does the chart test? He says that at 20/20, and the box? Oh he can set that at 20/40-20/100.

So this all leaves me with WTF? Because at the docs with his old glasses on he could see 20/60 with the bad eye.

Out we walk and I have my son sit down on a bench and I say "what's up? you should have been able to pass the last time. What are you seeing in the box?"

And the kid NOW says "well mom there is this divider in the box that is between your eyes and the left side is blank and the right side has the data I'm suppose to see but my brain turns off my right eye and tries to use my left when I use them together so my left eye is trying to look to the right but that thing is there blocking, so all the letters look cut in half." And if you know my son, then you know he said it just like that without taking a breath and no punctuation.

Jesus H CHRIST close your left eye!

Well, I was afraid they would yell at me.

They can't see you, your head is in a box!!!

At the eye doc, he covers each eye. Sigh.

BUT does the kid tell me this after the first trip to the DMV? NO. I have to dig it out of him.

AND does it get better. Yes, yes it does. So I'm doing green smoothies and I ordered a book from BnN and my son has the membership. It's under his name. So I order the book under his name for free shipping and discount.

The feeble aging mind realizes it's been over a week since I ordered the book. Where the Hell is it? This afternoon I say in general to the household. "Hey, my book should have come by now. Anyone see a package around here?" My dad says "oh, oh a package came for Chris a few days ago." And then my son pipes in with "Yeah, Grandpa gave me this package and it's a book on green smoothies and I thought oh God mom is trying to get me to drink green smoothies so I tossed it in my room."

THAT'S MY BOOK!!!

I've been drinking green smoothies. The kid knows I've been drinking green smoothies. A book comes about making green smoothies and he thinks I'm trying.....yeah.

I wish I was Spock and could do a mind meld but, I probably wouldn't survive.

The mind meld would probably go something like this, including the painful Red Lobster commercial.