Updates

I've moved in with my parents. The main event happened on the 17th. We are settling in except for my pug. High strung dog and high strung mom equals bad combo. So the dog is being boarded because well there's medication for that. Yes folks medication for separation anxiety just for doggies. She is fine unless I'm out of her sight. The vet felt it was best to board her and let them run tests on her which they did and then they started her today on the meds. And I'm going camping and leaving tomorrow and won't be back until Monday. So that gives them five days to watch and see how she does. Hopefully it will work and take her anxiety away until she can settle in. Quiet frankly I'm not against it. It's the right meds for her to be on and without my meds this past year and a half I would have set myself on fire. Xanax, sanity in a bottle. I'm hoping reconcile will be sanity in a bottle for my puggie. Yes. The meds is called reconcile. Vet says they have had great success with it. Let's all pray an keep things crossed.

I still have a ton of stuff to do to get the house ready to rent but, I'm taking this break and going camping with friends to San Simeon and we are going to see Hearst Castle on Saturday. Really looking forward to it.

When I get back I'll start in finishing cleaning out the house and getting it prepped. If I think too much about it, I just want to light myself up so, don't think just do. And I'm going to try not to think about it at all over the next couple of days.

Other pokers in the fire are the Mini Make Faire that my friends want to put on here in the OC next year so I'm getting involved in that. I want the house settled so I can be more focused on it. But, I'm also going to make sure I'm available. This is something I really want to see happen. What is Maker Faire or a Mini Make Faire? http://makerfaire.com/ Well, check the link out and we are going to be putting on a mini one with hopes it will grow into a big one. I see so much value in it and I feel it brings a lot to the community.

Let's see what else? Oh Dr. Barth's called me and asked if I would be willing to see Nicole his PA on the 2nd instead of Dr. Barth as they are trying to decompress his scheduled. I said well I take it my blood work and everything is looking good with me or he would want to see me. She said yes or you are right he would want to see you. I said I'd be happy to see Nicole and celebrate that everything is good. Nicole is good and takes very good care of me so I feel good seeing her. I love Dr. Barth. I really do but, I really like not being in the hot seat and having to see him.

I had my last herceptin infusion Tuesday. Wow. I thought that was going to be the longest year of my life! No such luck it just flew by like the other ones lately. So what up now? I will go on a 3 month maintenance plan. I'll see Nicole on the 2nd and then won't see Dr. Barth or maybe Nicole until December. In the meantime I'll have my last MUGA scan in Sept. which is the heart scan. I'm scheduled for an MRI on the girls 10/11 and I will see Dr. Guerra my surgeon and then I believe I will have a CT scan in October as well. I will confirm this with Nicole on the 2nd. She can write the orders for that.

So the schedule will go something like blood work every three months with a visit with the big guy Dr. Barth. And some scans every six months. The want to do a CT scan every six months and alternate between an MRI and mammogram. So MRI, six months later mammogram, then six months later MRI etc.

Then it will go to blood work every 4 months, then to every 6 and then at some point annually for 10 years. Well that's the game plan anyway.

So it will be decreasing. But I'll be going to the doctors a lot. And no I don't like it. Who does? Makes you wonder. Do you think there are people who like going to the doctors? I don't know. And now I'm developing monkey brain which means it's time to go to bed.

Oh and I'm at war with Verizon.

Verizon sucks ASS. It's official. I hate them. I've had postings on this on facebook but not here. When I get back I'll write my rant on those fuckers and hopefully will have an update and with any luck an actual conclusion.

Oh won't that be refreshing.

And tomorrow is another day.

Feelings and Logic

Dense green tangle mess
Uncertainty abounds
Paths are unclear
Forward
Forward must be the direction to go
For logic dictates it
But uncertainty abounds
For forward is not a direction but a feeling

Feelings are unconnected to logic
Logic produces trust
Feelings are untrustworthy
But feelings are the forward movement
And logic is the fear

Feelings in one hand
Logic in the other
I open the one hand
And clasp the other tightly
I close my eyes and open my heart

And move into the dense green tangle mess

Food Forage

I started my day off by participating in a Relay For Life fund raiser for cancer. I go to walk in the survivor lap. Nice event. Nice people. Good company. Good cause. Nice way to start the day. They did run out of coffee but, I could even over look that. Darn it. I just remembered I forgot to get my plant. Survivors got a nice goodie bag and a plant. Oh well.

Then it was off to the farmer's market. The above picture is my haul this week. Once again here is the breakdown:

Strawberries 5
Beets and beans 4.50
Peanuts 5
Chicken 10
Sourdough bread 4

Total 28.50. Fresh stuff. Good price.

And then I topped the day off with a movie with friends. The Help. I liked it.

The move is still on for Weds. We are pretty much set and most of my boxed stuff is moved and unpacked at my parents.

If you are thinking wow well, remember I threw away tons. Tons. Of stuff. Makes moving easier.

Years ago I heard Cher being interviewed and she said "What do I know? I thought everyone got married, had kids, got divorced and then moved back home."

Control

We have control over nothing.

NOTHING.

Disagree?

Why do you think there are public restrooms?

Because we don't even have control over when we need to shit.

That is all.

Farmer's Market

This is my latest gathering from my local farmer's market. Well, almost as I went yesterday but, took the picture this morning which means the strawberries are almost gong and that's only half the peanuts!


Strawberries (that was a 3 pak) $5
Avocados (JUMBO) $5
Eggs (Fresh texture is amazing) $3.50
Chicken whole legs (Slaughtered on Friday) $6
Grapefruit (organic) $2
Peanuts (freshly roasted!) $5

Total $26.50 not bad considering I went to the grocery store earlier in the week and got a bottle of coffee mate (sugar free) and a few veggies and spent $17! No meat.

Go to you local farmer's market. It's cheaper and better!

Again for you local peeps, this one is located at Ocean View HS in Huntington Beach on Warner between Goldenwest and Gothard. Sat. only 9-1!

See you there!

Last Dance

Just wanted to confirm that my last herceptin will be 8/23.

I will be done!

Can mark that off my to do list.

It's nice to wish

Damn it I can't find my snuggie, monkey mask, boxer shorts or plaid shirt. Guess that means today I have to do something but I wish today I'm not doing anything.