Trust is spoken about in terms of strength
Like the heaviest of chain links
Making an unbreakable bond
Withstanding the test of time
In reality, trust is but the thinnest strand of a spider's webbing
That can be broken with the softest of whispers.
(Disclaimer: No, no one has broken my trust. Not lately anyway. It was just there in my brain and wanted to be shared.)
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Should I move?
See that stuff over there? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
That out of date stuff?
No I'm not lazy. I can't fucking change it anymore. Blogger changed and has a new interface/look/whatever and it doesn't work. It doesn't have all the options it used to. And they still let you use the old interface but those options are gone now too.
AND blogger knows it. And are trying to do something about it but, it has been too long for me.
So I'm thinking of moving my blog.
Any suggestions?
Anyone else have a blog that's not on blogger and they like it better?
That out of date stuff?
No I'm not lazy. I can't fucking change it anymore. Blogger changed and has a new interface/look/whatever and it doesn't work. It doesn't have all the options it used to. And they still let you use the old interface but those options are gone now too.
AND blogger knows it. And are trying to do something about it but, it has been too long for me.
So I'm thinking of moving my blog.
Any suggestions?
Anyone else have a blog that's not on blogger and they like it better?
Growing Up
My son passed his written exam for a drivers permit on Friday, after the second try. BUT he failed the eye exam.
AND I was judged as a neglectful parent. See? hover or neglectful.
The DMV employee/clerk/whatever calls me over. MOM!(seriously, the dude shouted this) he needs new glasses. He can't see with these. Yeah right because I've been just letting that go. Uh buddy that's as good as that eye gets. He has amblyopia strabismus and only has 20/80 out of the right eye with his glasses on. But, he has 20/20 with his glasses on and using both eyes. He can see people and movement out of that eye. He is not blind in that eye but he can't read with that eye alone.
And the dude now sighs and says "well then you are going to need to have your doctor fill out this form and bring it back for us to have on file."
Fantastic. So Monday I'm calling to get an appointment and get the kid an eye exam and the form filled out and then BACK to the DMV we go. Hee Haw.
DMV requirement for those wondering is the following:
20/40 with both eyes AND
20/40 with one eye AND
at least 20/70 with one eye
BUT he has 20/20 with both and glasses. I promise he won't read a book with one eye while driving.
So now his eye doctor has to reassure the DMV that he can see well enough to drive. Okay I get it we don't want blind people driving. BUT, we let stupid people drive. We let people who can't speak English drive (heard plenty of those at the DMV). They are worried about you SEEING the signs. How about being able to read them. How about know what the mean?
The written test asks all these crazy questions that would apply if we lived in the back country.
So what kind of mom were you today? Hover or neglectful?
I'm two for two.
AND I was judged as a neglectful parent. See? hover or neglectful.
The DMV employee/clerk/whatever calls me over. MOM!(seriously, the dude shouted this) he needs new glasses. He can't see with these. Yeah right because I've been just letting that go. Uh buddy that's as good as that eye gets. He has amblyopia strabismus and only has 20/80 out of the right eye with his glasses on. But, he has 20/20 with his glasses on and using both eyes. He can see people and movement out of that eye. He is not blind in that eye but he can't read with that eye alone.
And the dude now sighs and says "well then you are going to need to have your doctor fill out this form and bring it back for us to have on file."
Fantastic. So Monday I'm calling to get an appointment and get the kid an eye exam and the form filled out and then BACK to the DMV we go. Hee Haw.
DMV requirement for those wondering is the following:
20/40 with both eyes AND
20/40 with one eye AND
at least 20/70 with one eye
BUT he has 20/20 with both and glasses. I promise he won't read a book with one eye while driving.
So now his eye doctor has to reassure the DMV that he can see well enough to drive. Okay I get it we don't want blind people driving. BUT, we let stupid people drive. We let people who can't speak English drive (heard plenty of those at the DMV). They are worried about you SEEING the signs. How about being able to read them. How about know what the mean?
The written test asks all these crazy questions that would apply if we lived in the back country.
So what kind of mom were you today? Hover or neglectful?
I'm two for two.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Being a Parent
Being a parent is a thankless job. In fact it's worse than that. It's a job that is judged and criticized. And yes I get that it is the most important job on the earth. I get that some people fail miserably and blatantly. I get that some people enter into parenthood by accident and don't put the child first and can't provide for it. I get all that. But, most of us are doing the best we can. For most of us our kids are going to survive our parental fuck ups. But it seems we are doomed for a damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Keeping an eye on your kid? Involved in their lives? Dang, are you a PART of their lives? Are you trying to help them navigate themselves into adulthood? If you answered yes, then let me tell you, society is going to view you as hovering. AND God forbid something "bad" should happen to your kid, even at no fault of your own, society is going to say you weren't watching them.
So what prompted this outrage today? The office clerk at OCC that's who. My son is going to go there this fall. I'm trying to get him into the college orientation class for high school students this semester. But, because he is a high school student we had to turn in a concurrent enrollment form stating what class he wants to take at the college while still in high school. And the principal has to sign it along with his parent. Well, both those things are ME.
So off we go to OCC to turn in the concurrently enrolled form so he can take a course at OCC that is for high school students. Yeah go figure. My son handed in the form. The lady looks at ME and asks ME "is this a second 8 week semester class?" I tell her "It's the college orientation class for high school students." She glances at the form and then says "Okay." and tosses it in a box and then just stares at me.
So I asked "So, when that gets processed I can enroll him online into the class?" and she replies "When that gets processed HE can enroll in the class online. HE is going to need how to do that." I replied "Thank you." and left. Outraged.
YES I'm going to show my son and walk him through how to enroll online. Damn it, it was just grammar! The woman was looking at ME. My son handed her the form but did she ever LOOK at the kid. NO. And so I was slammed as a hover mom today.
LOUD internal dialog went "No shit Sherlock yes I'm going to SHOW him how to sign up for class online but someone needs to show your judgmental dumb ass how to do YOUR job because you didn't even look at that form or notice that hover mom here, signed as parent and principal!"
I didn't open that can of worms and I'm hoping the next paper pusher in line is as observant and caring as this lady was and it's not an issue. I had my R4/PSA ready to go.
I'm still pissed. I've been through a lot these last couple of years and already feel like I've failed my kid in so many ways. And now this nobody is slamming me for helping my kid navigate! I know, I know, no they weren't events that were my fault but, that is how parental guilt rolls.
My saving grace is my son though. Amazing is what he is. I'm ranting on the way to the car. Four letter words flying through the air on the way back to the escape me from this bullshit vehicle. And I say to the kid "How did that make you feel? Were you embarrassed? Do you feel like I'm a hover mom?" My son says "Jesus mom it was two sentences. I didn't really care. But my opinion is that she was over the line. I'm NOT her kid."
AND really that says it ALL.
Next time someone is giving you shit about what you are doing with your kid remember that's YOUR kid.
How's this for a t-shirt
He/She is NOT your kid.
Or
NOT YOUR KID
Or
Shut up, I'm trying to parent and you're not helping.
I'll admit it. I've judged others parenting. Yes I have. Haven't we all? It's almost impossible not to. But, dang it every time I have, it's either come back to bite me in the ass OR I've felt really bad because we are all doing our best OR I've later come to realize, oh wow they did know what was best for their kid after all.
So when the judging bug hits me I'm going to remember this:
Not my kid.
Keeping an eye on your kid? Involved in their lives? Dang, are you a PART of their lives? Are you trying to help them navigate themselves into adulthood? If you answered yes, then let me tell you, society is going to view you as hovering. AND God forbid something "bad" should happen to your kid, even at no fault of your own, society is going to say you weren't watching them.
So what prompted this outrage today? The office clerk at OCC that's who. My son is going to go there this fall. I'm trying to get him into the college orientation class for high school students this semester. But, because he is a high school student we had to turn in a concurrent enrollment form stating what class he wants to take at the college while still in high school. And the principal has to sign it along with his parent. Well, both those things are ME.
So off we go to OCC to turn in the concurrently enrolled form so he can take a course at OCC that is for high school students. Yeah go figure. My son handed in the form. The lady looks at ME and asks ME "is this a second 8 week semester class?" I tell her "It's the college orientation class for high school students." She glances at the form and then says "Okay." and tosses it in a box and then just stares at me.
So I asked "So, when that gets processed I can enroll him online into the class?" and she replies "When that gets processed HE can enroll in the class online. HE is going to need how to do that." I replied "Thank you." and left. Outraged.
YES I'm going to show my son and walk him through how to enroll online. Damn it, it was just grammar! The woman was looking at ME. My son handed her the form but did she ever LOOK at the kid. NO. And so I was slammed as a hover mom today.
LOUD internal dialog went "No shit Sherlock yes I'm going to SHOW him how to sign up for class online but someone needs to show your judgmental dumb ass how to do YOUR job because you didn't even look at that form or notice that hover mom here, signed as parent and principal!"
I didn't open that can of worms and I'm hoping the next paper pusher in line is as observant and caring as this lady was and it's not an issue. I had my R4/PSA ready to go.
I'm still pissed. I've been through a lot these last couple of years and already feel like I've failed my kid in so many ways. And now this nobody is slamming me for helping my kid navigate! I know, I know, no they weren't events that were my fault but, that is how parental guilt rolls.
My saving grace is my son though. Amazing is what he is. I'm ranting on the way to the car. Four letter words flying through the air on the way back to the escape me from this bullshit vehicle. And I say to the kid "How did that make you feel? Were you embarrassed? Do you feel like I'm a hover mom?" My son says "Jesus mom it was two sentences. I didn't really care. But my opinion is that she was over the line. I'm NOT her kid."
AND really that says it ALL.
Next time someone is giving you shit about what you are doing with your kid remember that's YOUR kid.
How's this for a t-shirt
He/She is NOT your kid.
Or
NOT YOUR KID
Or
Shut up, I'm trying to parent and you're not helping.
I'll admit it. I've judged others parenting. Yes I have. Haven't we all? It's almost impossible not to. But, dang it every time I have, it's either come back to bite me in the ass OR I've felt really bad because we are all doing our best OR I've later come to realize, oh wow they did know what was best for their kid after all.
So when the judging bug hits me I'm going to remember this:
Not my kid.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Against the Norm
I have been going against the norm, I realized today, my entire life! Not all by choice be here is my account:
I was born in 1962 (I'll do the fast math for you, I'm 49) and I am an only child. Now being an only child in the 60s was a rare thing. I grew up listening to my mother having to field questions like "are you going to have any more children?" "why only one?" "I don't think it's good she won't know how to share." "she'll be lonely". And I had to field questions like "you must be spoiled." to which I would answer "yes I am and don't you wish you were too." and "don't you wish you had a brother or sister?" which got a "don't you wish you could get rid of yours?"
My dad shaved his head I'm not sure when. I don't remember a time when it wasn't shaved but I know it was way before Kojak or the NBA. So when we would go out he would get stared at, laughed at, comments made.
I never attended the first day of school. My mom would take me school clothes shopping on that day because the stores would be re-stocked and nobody was there. It was rather nice. "Nothing happens on the first day anyway." She would say.
Family vacation were often taken during school because well, things were less busy then.
I lived at home with my parents until I got married having to field questions of why I didn't move out. I like my parents that's why. But, nobody likes their parents so I was the 20 something weirdo still living at home. I didn't get it.
Got married. In Las Vegas so everyone thought I was pregnant. Nope.
When we sold our townhome and bought a house, the house was smaller. GASP no one sells their place and moves to a smaller place. What are you thinking?
Then I homeschooled my son. At least I know people who do that! But oh my I won't even go into the list of questions I have had to endure on this subject. I'll have to save that for a whole blog entry on it's own.
When I got divorced we used a mediator. No folks you don't have to use an expensive attorney to get the job done. Okay the mediator was an attorney but we sat down together and hashed it out. No court.
When I got cancer I decided I wanted to do chemo first. It was my suggestion. Who does THAT?
And now I live with my parents. Again I learned on Tuesday that this is also going against the norm.
I went to get my Lupron shot on Tuesday and the nurse says "we need to update your file! It's been awhile." Oh God help me. Updating the file is like enduring the Spanish Inquisition. Do we have to? So she gets to the question who do you live with? They really want to know if you live alone or not. If maybe you need services. So I told the nurse I live with my parents and my 17 year old son in a multigenerational (I like how the word rational is in there) household. Silence. Crickets. And then..... "I'll put down that you live in a house." "Okay, yes, we are not cave dwellers but, a house is what I live IN not who I live WITH, just so we are clear." Crickets.
Seems I've bucked the norm again.
And you know what?
I'm not going to stop.
I was born in 1962 (I'll do the fast math for you, I'm 49) and I am an only child. Now being an only child in the 60s was a rare thing. I grew up listening to my mother having to field questions like "are you going to have any more children?" "why only one?" "I don't think it's good she won't know how to share." "she'll be lonely". And I had to field questions like "you must be spoiled." to which I would answer "yes I am and don't you wish you were too." and "don't you wish you had a brother or sister?" which got a "don't you wish you could get rid of yours?"
My dad shaved his head I'm not sure when. I don't remember a time when it wasn't shaved but I know it was way before Kojak or the NBA. So when we would go out he would get stared at, laughed at, comments made.
I never attended the first day of school. My mom would take me school clothes shopping on that day because the stores would be re-stocked and nobody was there. It was rather nice. "Nothing happens on the first day anyway." She would say.
Family vacation were often taken during school because well, things were less busy then.
I lived at home with my parents until I got married having to field questions of why I didn't move out. I like my parents that's why. But, nobody likes their parents so I was the 20 something weirdo still living at home. I didn't get it.
Got married. In Las Vegas so everyone thought I was pregnant. Nope.
When we sold our townhome and bought a house, the house was smaller. GASP no one sells their place and moves to a smaller place. What are you thinking?
Then I homeschooled my son. At least I know people who do that! But oh my I won't even go into the list of questions I have had to endure on this subject. I'll have to save that for a whole blog entry on it's own.
When I got divorced we used a mediator. No folks you don't have to use an expensive attorney to get the job done. Okay the mediator was an attorney but we sat down together and hashed it out. No court.
When I got cancer I decided I wanted to do chemo first. It was my suggestion. Who does THAT?
And now I live with my parents. Again I learned on Tuesday that this is also going against the norm.
I went to get my Lupron shot on Tuesday and the nurse says "we need to update your file! It's been awhile." Oh God help me. Updating the file is like enduring the Spanish Inquisition. Do we have to? So she gets to the question who do you live with? They really want to know if you live alone or not. If maybe you need services. So I told the nurse I live with my parents and my 17 year old son in a multigenerational (I like how the word rational is in there) household. Silence. Crickets. And then..... "I'll put down that you live in a house." "Okay, yes, we are not cave dwellers but, a house is what I live IN not who I live WITH, just so we are clear." Crickets.
Seems I've bucked the norm again.
And you know what?
I'm not going to stop.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Happy Heart Day
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I'm good with celebrating the concept of luuuuv. I really am. There are lots of people and animals in my life that I will say I "love".
But, the Hallmark bullshit turns that simple emotion into a commercializing pile of smelly horseshit. And all these expectation that no one can fulfill.
You have that someone in your life that well, you just can't imagine them not in it? Think. Yes, even you single unattached/uninvolved people. There is someone. That's love.
But, Hallmark makes this holiday all about the romantic fleeting love. That's shit doesn't last. Oh it's there in the beginning but it fades. AND thank God it does or we would all be walking around in a mooney eyed state of not thinking straight and it would make a zombie apocalypse look like a park day (a day in the park for you non homeschoolers).
The bottom line is this..if you have someone in your life, I don't care if it's a partner, parent, kid, dog, cat or gold fish that puts up with your sorry ass, you are loved. And really? they have to buy a $5 card, a box of chocolates that's going to be half off in 24 hours and gift that you don't need or they don't love you? Or that if they don't you won't feel loved? That's what Hallmark would have you believe. Because that increases their bottom line.
So go do an act of kindness to someone who puts up with your stupid ass tomorrow.
And remember luuv twuuu luvvv
Friday, February 10, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
A Date wha....?
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/KY-Date-Night
Saw this in Walmart today. Yes. A display on an end cap. My mom actually pointed it out and then we laughed like loons. My mom said "I guess you don't show up with flowers. It's a box of condoms."
Seriously? This is what dating is these days? Thanks I'll pass.
I survived my class. I like the teacher and I was able to get the homework done so.....there is hope. Hope that my brain is intact. Or at least partially?
On the sewing front I'm still reading that fabulous book and gathering sewing toys.
My son started his baking and pastry class and we are ALL enjoying that class as he brings home goodies they made. Cookies, moon pies and cookie dough to be baked later.
His teacher, Chef Heather, will be on Cupcake Wars this Sunday on Food Network at 8pm.
We will be watching.
Saw this in Walmart today. Yes. A display on an end cap. My mom actually pointed it out and then we laughed like loons. My mom said "I guess you don't show up with flowers. It's a box of condoms."
Seriously? This is what dating is these days? Thanks I'll pass.
I survived my class. I like the teacher and I was able to get the homework done so.....there is hope. Hope that my brain is intact. Or at least partially?
On the sewing front I'm still reading that fabulous book and gathering sewing toys.
My son started his baking and pastry class and we are ALL enjoying that class as he brings home goodies they made. Cookies, moon pies and cookie dough to be baked later.
His teacher, Chef Heather, will be on Cupcake Wars this Sunday on Food Network at 8pm.
We will be watching.
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