See that old stuff there? It's there because blogger used to have on the dash board these side bar options and NOW THEY ARE GONE. And they have put this whole thing into a new bloody format that I personally don't like. Probably mostly just because it's new and I'm a human being so I don't like new. But, mostly because the sidebar is now totally useless and I can't update it and it looks stupid.
Who do I write to?
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Is It Over Yet?
Went and saw Mission Impossible with my son. It was a rocking good time of a movie and after we went to Barnes and Noble since we both have gift cards. On our way into the store, there is a dad in a total panic hustling his way out, with his probably around 8 year old daughter tucked under his arm. The man had that stricken panicked but not terrified dad look, with that shear male determination underneath that was detectable. Man on a mission. He burst through the doors and made his way to the nearby trash can just outside the store where he propped his daughter over the can and then....the retching began. Poor kid. Have to hand to it to dad, not a drop of vomit in sight. Mission accomplished.
Into the store we go and what comes into my view next is a dad standing behind a stroller. Inside the stroller is a sleeping baby. Next to the man is a woman most likely his mom or worse, his mom in law, whose lips are flapping away. As I pass by I hear her say "are you okay with the baby sleeping now? How do you feel, really about the baby being asleep? I just think if the baby sleeps now..." It was 7:30pm, I think it's an excellent time for the baby to be asleep but, what did dad think? I don't know, dad had achieved a glazed over look that clearly screamed he had gone to another realm of reality. Mission accomplished.
The store was a wreck and it is just a mission impossible for me to effectively shop in a wrecked store. It just doesn't happen. All I can see is the disaster and I have to fight from straightening it all up.
My son did find a book and as he was checking out I waited by the exit. Up comes a mom with her not quite 2 year old daughter in a stroller and about a 3 year old son in tow. The son says "mom I'm going to give sissy a kiss right on her head." Mom replies "oh that's sweet." And as the boy leans in to kiss his not quite 2 year old sister on the head, the little girl screeches at the top of her lungs and hauls off and slugs him right in the side of his head with everything she's got. Call me all kinds of wrong but I just bursted out laughing. Mission accomplished.
Christmas is over people.
Mission accomplished.
Into the store we go and what comes into my view next is a dad standing behind a stroller. Inside the stroller is a sleeping baby. Next to the man is a woman most likely his mom or worse, his mom in law, whose lips are flapping away. As I pass by I hear her say "are you okay with the baby sleeping now? How do you feel, really about the baby being asleep? I just think if the baby sleeps now..." It was 7:30pm, I think it's an excellent time for the baby to be asleep but, what did dad think? I don't know, dad had achieved a glazed over look that clearly screamed he had gone to another realm of reality. Mission accomplished.
The store was a wreck and it is just a mission impossible for me to effectively shop in a wrecked store. It just doesn't happen. All I can see is the disaster and I have to fight from straightening it all up.
My son did find a book and as he was checking out I waited by the exit. Up comes a mom with her not quite 2 year old daughter in a stroller and about a 3 year old son in tow. The son says "mom I'm going to give sissy a kiss right on her head." Mom replies "oh that's sweet." And as the boy leans in to kiss his not quite 2 year old sister on the head, the little girl screeches at the top of her lungs and hauls off and slugs him right in the side of his head with everything she's got. Call me all kinds of wrong but I just bursted out laughing. Mission accomplished.
Christmas is over people.
Mission accomplished.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Merry Christmas or....
Okay the blog is called the good, the bad and the ugly, so here's the flip side to "Merry" Christmas because I have mixed, torn, bi-polar, manic depressive feelings about the holiday.
Parts I really love and parts I just truly despise and so...here's the not so jolly side and if everyone was honest with themselves I think there is a bit (even if tiny) of this sentiment that dwells in us all during this time of the year.
Because I see too much of this:
And not enough of this:
And on Earth peace goodwill towards men.
I FEEL that sentiment during this season coming from those close to my heart but I don't SEE it amongst the population.
And so, rather than a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, I'm wishing everyone a softened heart, tolerance, don't be so quick to judge because we can't even begin to know what is going on inside someone else's head or life and a big big healthy dose of count your blessings.
Parts I really love and parts I just truly despise and so...here's the not so jolly side and if everyone was honest with themselves I think there is a bit (even if tiny) of this sentiment that dwells in us all during this time of the year.
Because I see too much of this:
And not enough of this:
And on Earth peace goodwill towards men.
I FEEL that sentiment during this season coming from those close to my heart but I don't SEE it amongst the population.
And so, rather than a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, I'm wishing everyone a softened heart, tolerance, don't be so quick to judge because we can't even begin to know what is going on inside someone else's head or life and a big big healthy dose of count your blessings.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Check
I think I'm ready. Okay I'm as ready as I'm going to get. Christmas purchases are complete! One package is suppose to be delivered today. I am finishing one of my two hand made items. Not done yet I'm pretty confident I will complete it before the big day.
And I just want to acknowledge whoever it was that invented gift bags. Apparently they emerged commercially in the 1980s. God Bless whoever! I usually like to wrap my Christmas gifts but this year the gift bag just spared me a ton of dread because I just wasn't looking forward to doing it. I do have to wrap two things that I just didn't get a bag big enough for but, that I can handle.
So with that said here's a interesting read:
http://mymerrychristmas.com/2006/historyofwrap.shtml
Enjoy your holiday preparations but, remove the stress!
And I just want to acknowledge whoever it was that invented gift bags. Apparently they emerged commercially in the 1980s. God Bless whoever! I usually like to wrap my Christmas gifts but this year the gift bag just spared me a ton of dread because I just wasn't looking forward to doing it. I do have to wrap two things that I just didn't get a bag big enough for but, that I can handle.
So with that said here's a interesting read:
http://mymerrychristmas.com/2006/historyofwrap.shtml
Enjoy your holiday preparations but, remove the stress!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Christmas anyone?
How did that happen? I am so not ready, physically, purchases, decorations or emotionally. I'd really like to postpone it to March. I think I could be ready by then.
But, the tree went up and some purchases have been made but, I'm just not in the mood to do....well anything. So I'm pushing myself. I think it's a touch of depression and I usually don't get it this time of year but, there it is.
But with the pushing I have engaged in some nice festivities. Visiting good friends and spending time just being.
Here is my latest creation from Color Me Mine. Reminder, my last one was my moon jar.
I am most ridiculously pleased with this:
There was nice time with a dear friend and some excellent Thai food that went along with this creation.
And most definitely have spring not winter on my mind!
Here is where I would traditionally launch into a rant about the holidays being an excuse for everyone to act like idiots, over indulging in food, spending and turning themselves inside out to measure up to some false pretense set forth by Hallmark and other bogus entities of our consumer driven society.
This year I'll spare you and look on the flip side. It does bring out a giving spirit. People do spend time together even it's forced and try to get along and....sorry nope I just can't do it. There is a part of the holidays I really really like and I can see it but it seems as the years go by it's harder and harder to see for all the crap that seems to get piled on top and that crap just seems to get deeper and deeper.
I am giving gifts. I put up a tree. I am going on the Huntington Beach Harbor Cruise which I have never done and I have lived in Huntington Beach since I was 3. Also I want to cruise around this year in the car and view the lights. I will be spending time with friends and am looking forward to that as well as family...yeah I'm looking forward to that too.
So, I'm not a complete humbug.
Merry Christmas
Happy Yule
Good Tidings
Winter Soltice
And all the others....
Love to you all
But, the tree went up and some purchases have been made but, I'm just not in the mood to do....well anything. So I'm pushing myself. I think it's a touch of depression and I usually don't get it this time of year but, there it is.
But with the pushing I have engaged in some nice festivities. Visiting good friends and spending time just being.
Here is my latest creation from Color Me Mine. Reminder, my last one was my moon jar.
I am most ridiculously pleased with this:
There was nice time with a dear friend and some excellent Thai food that went along with this creation.And most definitely have spring not winter on my mind!
Here is where I would traditionally launch into a rant about the holidays being an excuse for everyone to act like idiots, over indulging in food, spending and turning themselves inside out to measure up to some false pretense set forth by Hallmark and other bogus entities of our consumer driven society.
This year I'll spare you and look on the flip side. It does bring out a giving spirit. People do spend time together even it's forced and try to get along and....sorry nope I just can't do it. There is a part of the holidays I really really like and I can see it but it seems as the years go by it's harder and harder to see for all the crap that seems to get piled on top and that crap just seems to get deeper and deeper.
I am giving gifts. I put up a tree. I am going on the Huntington Beach Harbor Cruise which I have never done and I have lived in Huntington Beach since I was 3. Also I want to cruise around this year in the car and view the lights. I will be spending time with friends and am looking forward to that as well as family...yeah I'm looking forward to that too.
So, I'm not a complete humbug.
Merry Christmas
Happy Yule
Good Tidings
Winter Soltice
And all the others....
Love to you all
Friday, December 2, 2011
Doctor Barth details
Saw Dr. Barth today. Main complaint on the table my hands. I've been having small joint pain which pretty much means my hands have been killing me especially my index finger of my right hand. So I had stopped taking the femara on the 1st of November. Dr. Barth decided the level of pain I was having, since it made me stopped was a deal breaker as he likes to put it. So he switched me to a different aromatase inhibitor. It does the same thing but has a different chemical make up and a study in England has found that people on the femara that experience joint pain do a lot better on this other drug. It's the newest AI too. So he was happy that I had stopped taking it for a month because he would have had to have me stop it for that long to get it out of my system before having me start on the new one. And the new one's name is...Aromasin. I need to go do some reading on this latest one. Also my index finger is hurting more than the others. Dr. Barth said something else is going on with it. He said yes the femara contributed but if the other fingers are doing much better and that one is not then it's not the femara alone. I said so I probably injured it and because of the femara it can't heal like it would normally. He said I'm impressed yes most patients wouldn't get that. So he gave me the name of a hand doctor but said I didn't need to rush out to see him to go ahead and give my finger more time and see how it goes on the new meds. We are suspecting inflammation of the tendon and he ran another blood test for that.
Then I moved us onto my liver. Dr. Barth went sky high. Yes he has saw the reports and said he just shook his head when he saw them. I told him what Dr. Guerra had said that the radiologist said she could maybe "see" something poking into one of the cysts but wasn't sure. But, that was not noted in the report and I was quite upset by that. The omission of it in the report. Dr. Barth came unglued. He said the report was correct. He looked at the MRI himself. There wasn't anything there. He said that Dr. Guerra had used an unintelligent way to explain what was seen. He said he knows exactly how that conversation went. That she didn't take the time to really think it through what was going on and how to present it to me. She got the report handed to her oh the cysts look bigger from the ultra sound from 2008 and there's a shadow. He went on to say Hoag is just a money generator and if they can get one test to lead to another test that's they way it goes and that I really didn't need to have the ultra sound at all. AND all irate he says and did anyone call ME? NOooooo. I had your PET scan from 2010 and the cysts are NOT bigger from them. They are slightly from 2008 but no one should have made you think for a minute that any mets in your liver had happened. And this is what I think he was pissed about the most.
So I replied with a well, this is a learning experience and what I have learned is that in future if anyone says they think they see something I will be demanding to see it myself and then they have to call you. Also I really love Dr. Guerra she is a great surgeon but I know surgeons are lousy at diagnosing which is why while I could have lived without the excitement I didn't light myself on fire because well they are lousy at diagnosing. You don't let a surgeon diagnose you for anything. And he is nodding his head up and down.
I do not need another MUGA. My heart is great. He had viewed the video of my heart function and told me it works at an above normal level so it's really in very good shape. The initial scan showed a score of 60 then the second one 65 and the last one 58. So while there was a drop from 65 to 58 overall it went from 60 to 58. 50 is normal. I said to Dr. Barth well I know that your heart function isn't the same all the time anyway it can vary on any given day. I impressed him again with my knowledge. He said most patients don't understand that. I said well I don't understand it either I just know that's what it does!
So they took more blood today to test my estrogen levels since I had been off the femara for a month and something else to test the inflammation levels of something because of the joint pain. Brenda the new nurse drew my blood. I like Brenda. She gets two thumbs up from me. Girl knew her shit. No new patient would have a clue that she was new to the office. Hope she sticks around.
So scans good, blood work is good. I'm good.
The flooring is done in the house. A few small details to tend to tomorrow. There's always those little nagging things. Need to get a pool guy and then I'm done.
So.....time to start planning a Vegas escape. I'm looking at January!
Then I moved us onto my liver. Dr. Barth went sky high. Yes he has saw the reports and said he just shook his head when he saw them. I told him what Dr. Guerra had said that the radiologist said she could maybe "see" something poking into one of the cysts but wasn't sure. But, that was not noted in the report and I was quite upset by that. The omission of it in the report. Dr. Barth came unglued. He said the report was correct. He looked at the MRI himself. There wasn't anything there. He said that Dr. Guerra had used an unintelligent way to explain what was seen. He said he knows exactly how that conversation went. That she didn't take the time to really think it through what was going on and how to present it to me. She got the report handed to her oh the cysts look bigger from the ultra sound from 2008 and there's a shadow. He went on to say Hoag is just a money generator and if they can get one test to lead to another test that's they way it goes and that I really didn't need to have the ultra sound at all. AND all irate he says and did anyone call ME? NOooooo. I had your PET scan from 2010 and the cysts are NOT bigger from them. They are slightly from 2008 but no one should have made you think for a minute that any mets in your liver had happened. And this is what I think he was pissed about the most.
So I replied with a well, this is a learning experience and what I have learned is that in future if anyone says they think they see something I will be demanding to see it myself and then they have to call you. Also I really love Dr. Guerra she is a great surgeon but I know surgeons are lousy at diagnosing which is why while I could have lived without the excitement I didn't light myself on fire because well they are lousy at diagnosing. You don't let a surgeon diagnose you for anything. And he is nodding his head up and down.
I do not need another MUGA. My heart is great. He had viewed the video of my heart function and told me it works at an above normal level so it's really in very good shape. The initial scan showed a score of 60 then the second one 65 and the last one 58. So while there was a drop from 65 to 58 overall it went from 60 to 58. 50 is normal. I said to Dr. Barth well I know that your heart function isn't the same all the time anyway it can vary on any given day. I impressed him again with my knowledge. He said most patients don't understand that. I said well I don't understand it either I just know that's what it does!
So they took more blood today to test my estrogen levels since I had been off the femara for a month and something else to test the inflammation levels of something because of the joint pain. Brenda the new nurse drew my blood. I like Brenda. She gets two thumbs up from me. Girl knew her shit. No new patient would have a clue that she was new to the office. Hope she sticks around.
So scans good, blood work is good. I'm good.
The flooring is done in the house. A few small details to tend to tomorrow. There's always those little nagging things. Need to get a pool guy and then I'm done.
So.....time to start planning a Vegas escape. I'm looking at January!
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