Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day.

I'm just going to leave it at that.

It's my Mother's day gift to you all.

Pizza Scissors!!

Years, years ago we were in Vegas. My son was a little guy then. My mom and I went to the pool. I really don't know where all the men folk had taken off to. I can't remember but, they probably had taken my son to go do something.

So there my mom and I are laying on a couple of lounge chairs and right next to us are a couple of young girls. Oh probably teens I think. And they have southern accents. Heavy ones. So you have to imagine this conversation that we overhear with that in mind.

And here it is

Sister 1 "Sissy, just how did you put your bikini on without any hair showing?"

Sister 2 "I took daddy's razor and shaved down there before we left."

Sister 1 "Ohhhhhhh, but Sissy just how did you get all that fuzzy part off?"

Sister 2 "I used momma's pizza scissors and cut that off"

Sister 1 "Ohhhhhhhhh"

We almost rolled off our lounge chairs. Don't eat pizza at their house. And all these years I have wondered just what the heck are pizza scissors.

Well, now we all know.

I personally would be scared to go anywhere near the sacred yoni with those.

And watch the video below. They are not just for pizza. No. They sure aren't.

Reality Check?

I went to Starbucks this morning. No I'm not a big fan but for reasons of convenience that's where I ended up.

I get my coffee and I'm doctoring it up with sweetener and cream. Sitting on the doo dad they have the coffee paraphernalia on, is a big sign. It basically read:

Due to proposition stupid we have to post this sign.
There is a chemical that you probably have never hear of that can cause cancer. And then you could die. While Starbucks doesn't use this chemical directly in any of our bake goods or coffee, the chemical can result from baking baked goods and roasting coffee. So you could die. But, remember there are other things out there that could give you cancer so, you could just get cancer from those things instead. And die.

No that was not the exact words of the sign but, that is what it said.

I read it and thought oh brother give me a break. I'm trying to drink some bloody coffee here. I don't some fear with it.

A guy walks up with his coffee to the coffee doctoring bar. He is maybe mid 30s. Who knows but not super young. He reads the sign and he says "I don't get it. I just saw a program last night that talked about all the benefits of coffee. How it can maybe ward off Alzheimer's and other stuff and then here's this sign. Seems rather contradictory to me. I don't know what to believe." I looked at him and said "you want the truth buddy, we are all going to die. So you might as well just enjoy your coffee." He looks back at me and says "Yeah. We are all going to die. In the end. I am going to enjoy my coffee." and he ends his statement with a cheerful "you have a really great day!" I reply "Oh God, yeah with that, let's have a nice day."

I'm just forehead smacking myself. He seemed fine with the we are going to die. But, man I just can't walk around pointing that out left and right. I don't know why the friend I was with didn't just shoot me. Or at least kick me.

Enjoy the Hell out of today, because we are all going to die. There's a bumper sticker for you.

Hunting

I'm job hunting. It is such a tedious and time consuming activity. But, it does have a pay off.

With what I have been through this past year my head is in an odd place for this activity and I'm having to adjust my thinking.

Thinking ahead and planning is good. It's a good skill to have. And I excel in this area. Too well actually. So I'll look at a job and my doctor schedule and this and that and then decide oh there's no way that will work out. And then I stop. And realize that I don't make the hiring decision. That's not my role in this. So I then do what is my role and apply.

I will leave the decision making processes up to someone else. Even if it kills me!

And that led to this

That last post lead to this thought.

My take on our current society.

We the people have become obsessed with the idea of instant fame and fortune to the extent that without it, our lives just suck so people will sink to the depths of scuz to try and get it which has created a culture of sue first and don't even worry about if it was right or not.

Corporate America, who the people sue, is being run by people who are just in it for the moment of trying to grab as much money as they can while they are at the top. Screw everyone. And risking going to jail. But who cares, Martha Stewart came out weighing less, just think of it as a weight lost program.

U S government is in a red hot affair with Corporate America because the politicians get their pockets lined by these doofuses. GE reported 14.2 BILLION in profits and paid NO TAXES.

Which brings us full circle back to we the people getting fucked by being regulated up the butt.

So we don't pierce our ear drums. And sue some corporation, who is grabbing as much gold as possible and paying off the government, who is taking as much graft as possible and fucking the public.

And around it goes.

Until it crashes.

Disclaimer: This post brought to you by a chemical induced menopause moment.

Why pretend about ears?

A few years ago I bought an ear cleaner gizmo at an Asian store. It was basically a tiny spoon with a guard so you couldn't go too deep and pierce your ear drum. That little gizmo worked great at scooping out ear wax. Much better than the damned car keys.

One day it broke. Well, it was plastic. And it just gave out somehow. And I never could find anything that came close. The store was gone and I never did get a replacement. Until today. Today I found ear cleaners. Soft bendable plastic gizmos with a tiny spoon thing on one end and a tiny brush contraption on the other. At CVS drug store. I'm thrilled. Except with the lies on the box that say DO NOT INSERT INTO EAR CANAL. Well, what the hell else am I going to do with the damned thing. According to the box I'm suppose to use this to clean the outside of my ear. Around the outside of the ear canal. But, DO NOT ENTER THE EAR CANAL. Really? really? Because some doofus could get over zealous with jamming the thing into the ear canal and pierce their ear drum become deaf and sue the pants off the company that made the ear cleaner to just clean the outside of the ear.

I took one out of the box and promptly shoved the damned INTO MY EAR CANAL. Removed a nice satisfying junk of ear wax to boot.

I have a feeling I should stock up on these because I don't think they are going to last long. Someone is going to pierce their ear drum. It's just going to be unavoidable.

Blog Fodder

I'm lacking in blog fodder. Nothing much going on so I'll just ramble. Because the one thing I have discovered is that if you write on a regular basis, it becomes addictive. And soon after a few days of not writing something just feels weird. And then it comes to you that oh I haven't written.

So basically, I'm just trying to get my fix!

Somethings are going on around me right now that makes me smile. I see friends going outside of their comfort zone. Big time. And nice payoffs are coming as a result. And I'm seeing them live.

Getting my son on hopefully some self discovering paths here. He is starting a class on career exploration for teens and I'm hoping to get him into a ROP class with an internship this summer. I will be attempting to register him on June 1st. He is excite about that.

I don't go back to my oncologist until the 9th. The Femara (the pill I take everyday to further decrease estrogen) is giving me stiffness. For any man who happens to be reading this and thinking what's the problem, I'm talking joint stiffness. And I've put on about 4 pounds. This is from the Femara. So I don't know. I'm not happy with any of it. I will be discussing this with my doctor and talking about benefits out weighing this bullshit. I'm not happy.

Yeah, yeah but, what's a bit of weight gain and some stiffness if it is keeping the cancer from coming back?

Well, that's the thing. I'm not sure. I need to talk to my doctor about what we are really risking here. And maybe I could just cut back on the pills and still get some benefits.

I'll see what he has to say. And then figure something out that I can live with.

WoooOOOOooooW (Scott Pilgrim wow) And here I didn't think I had any blog fodder and nothing much was going on.

Huh.