A few years ago I bought an ear cleaner gizmo at an Asian store. It was basically a tiny spoon with a guard so you couldn't go too deep and pierce your ear drum. That little gizmo worked great at scooping out ear wax. Much better than the damned car keys.
One day it broke. Well, it was plastic. And it just gave out somehow. And I never could find anything that came close. The store was gone and I never did get a replacement. Until today. Today I found ear cleaners. Soft bendable plastic gizmos with a tiny spoon thing on one end and a tiny brush contraption on the other. At CVS drug store. I'm thrilled. Except with the lies on the box that say DO NOT INSERT INTO EAR CANAL. Well, what the hell else am I going to do with the damned thing. According to the box I'm suppose to use this to clean the outside of my ear. Around the outside of the ear canal. But, DO NOT ENTER THE EAR CANAL. Really? really? Because some doofus could get over zealous with jamming the thing into the ear canal and pierce their ear drum become deaf and sue the pants off the company that made the ear cleaner to just clean the outside of the ear.
I took one out of the box and promptly shoved the damned INTO MY EAR CANAL. Removed a nice satisfying junk of ear wax to boot.
I have a feeling I should stock up on these because I don't think they are going to last long. Someone is going to pierce their ear drum. It's just going to be unavoidable.
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