Last night my son had a friend over to spend the night. Well, the main objective was anime watching. They have both been watching the same anime series from Netflix and had now wanted to watch the two movies made based on the anime together.
So for dinner I order pizza. Pizza hut was having a "deal" 2 medium pizzas for $6 each. Seems reasonable. My son's friend wanted cheese only. My son, not surprising for anyone who knows him, wanted meat on his. The pizza arrives the boys race to the kitchen. Two starving 16 year old boys, lift the lids to their pizza with anticipation on their faces. Which was quickly replaced by dismay. That was by far, hands down the saddest pizza on the planet at that moment in time. They were the smallest medium pizza I have ever seen. When I ordered, they asked me if I wanted thin, hand toss or pan crust. I ordered hand tossed. I think if I had ordered thin, you would have been able to see through the pizza. They boys ate it but there was none left. I have seen cheap frozen pizza that looked better than this. Worse the pizza from Chuck E. Cheese is better than this. Pizza Hut you suck.
The rest of the evening was rather uneventful. I laid in bed watching TV. Putzing around on Face Book and listening to the boys from the other room. The sleep overs from the past had consisted of young boy's laughter. Much chatter. Frequent seeking me out for various questions and reassurance I suspect. They also included the knowledge that a call to a parent at midnight was probably on the horizon. I never minded. And was honored to be a part of the sleep over growing up experiences.
Last night however was completely different. Boy's laughter replaced by deep male mummers. No seeking me out for questions and reassurances. Oh they came a talk to me about this and that. Mainly out of good manners to at least acknowledge that I existed in the house.
I drifted off sleep knowing there would not be a midnight parental phone call to be made.
This morning I awoke to a peaceful quietness that surrounded the house. Let the dogs out to do their thing. And started cooking bacon. Coffee brewing. I sat down to toast bacon and artificial caramel laced coffee. Bathed in the happiness and rightness of it all. The only thing I lusted for was a newspaper. But, rather than be distracted by the emptiness of ink covered paper, I focused on the contentment of the moment. Then my toast need more butter.
I go to my silverware drawer to pull out a knife. I pause as I go to close the drawer. My gaze lands on my silverware divided. The plastic golden color of the 70s contraption that keeps the silverware from co-mingling with each other because that would be scandalous. And it hits me. I bought that divider when I got married. In 1989. There is nothing wrong with it. In fact it looks exactly like it did when I bought it. Which means that silverware holder divider contraption has held up better than I have.
It is startling to look at something that has been in your life for 21 years and used on a daily basis and yet not thought about in the least. It holds silverware what is there to think about. But it was bought, packed in moved twice. Anyone who has eaten at any of my homes in the last 21 years most likely pulled silverware from this contraption.
So I think maybe it's time to let go of this silverware holder but since there isn't anything wrong with it and it functions just as well today as it did 21 years ago, I'm holding on to it.
And this is why we hang onto stuff. Not for the thing itself because it is just a replaceable thing. But, it is the familiarity that it holds. The memories it sparks when we look at it.
I am once again getting geared up to embark on more unloading of stuff. It is a most painful endeavor and am trying to understand why. It is just stuff but, I guess not.
It is going but I am no longer going to expect that it should be painless.
There are things I want to get rid of and change in every single room of my house! I am suspecting this is the true reason why we move. And why I have toiled with the idea of moving the last couple of years. But, I love my house and I don't want to move. So I am going to start making plans. Serious plans of what I want to do with each room and then implement them one by one.
I need to replace the dread and feel overwhelmed with one that this is the perfect time in embark on such an endeavor as I am home.
Ikea here I come.
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