While I wait for the xanax to kick in and take me to that blissful place that gets me off this fucking cancer merry go round here is what is rambling around in my brain:
Bad HER2 positive
Good Didn't fall into the 20% crack of false negative and not get treatment
Bad IV every three weeks for a year
Good not chemo
Bad there are side effects
Good not everyone gets them actually a low percentage do
Bad lowers heart function and you have to have your heart test every three months
Good heart function returns to normal after you get off herceptin
Bad we don't even know for sure that I need this because we don't know if there was any escapees.
Good won't be sitting in oncologist office in future with recurrence wishing I had done the herceptin
On some level I feel like I was just diagnosed all over again. All the tears and fears are back. Oh the fear because this is a much more aggressive cancer. But, I get to skip the what do we do, what decisions to I have to make. I get to go right to treatment. As crazy as that sounds it's a relief.
My doctor did a good job. This was tested three times. Three. The chances of this having been overlooked are high. The HERmark test has only been used for 2 years. Not everyone is using it. HERmark keeps trying to push it and get the word out but it's hard for some doctors to change what they have been using for so long.
I had an uneasy feeling about the HER2 from the beginning when I got conflicting test results from the IHC and FISH.
I'm not happy with the results but, am glad I didn't fall through the cracks.
I hope I can dodge the bullet with the other gene not being over expressed. Part of me feels I spoke way too soon on the no more chemo.
No comments:
Post a Comment