1AM and....

It was 1am and I was awake. Now this seems to happen during the first week of chemo. Energy is so weird. Its like riding a roller coaster. You get these burst of energy and then come crashing down. And you never really know when they are going to hit you. So there I was last night at 1am and wide awake. Sadly I turned to the TV. My parents have cable and a bazillion channels surely there has to be something on. Wrong. Want to know what's on TV at 1am? Yea well I'm going to tell you anyway. Infomercials. Lots of them. I just don't get it. Who is up at 1am buying stuff off the TV? All I can come up with is closet shoppers who get up at 1am and sneak off into another room to buy stuff without their family knowing they are buying stuff off the TV.

So first up, an exercise machine that claimed to give you tight buns but looked like you could break your neck using it. Ok. It's hard watching people with that much energy demonstrating an exercise machine at 1am. I want to mellow out not get hyped up. Next.

A weight loss program. Nutrisystem or Jenny Craig can't remember now but one of those meals come in a box to your house. Ok. I guess committing to starting a diet plan at 1am is as good a time as any. Next.

Oxyclean. Ok this one I really didn't get because I'm pretty sure you can buy this stuff in the store but, just in case you wake up at 1am and realized you forgot to pick some up, hey you can just order off the TV and go back to sleep worry free. Next.

NO!NO! a what? I actually watched this one for awhile. Simply because I couldn't figure out what the bleep the darn thing was at first. Turned out to be some sort of hair removing device. It was a device but, the lady selling kept claiming that it didn't shave the hair and it didn't pull it out like other devices. So what did it do? Just how did it remove the hair? Must have been by magic because heck if she ever said how. Darn thing just mystified me too much, and somehow was making me think too much and was doing nothing to try and get me sleepy. Next.

A $400 vacuum cleaner. Ok I get this one. I get why it's being sold at 1am. You sure want to buy a $400 vacuum cleaner at 1am while hiding in the other room and no other family member knows of it. The vacuum cleaner I'm willing to pay $400 for better have a maid attached to it. Next.

Hair replacement for men. Ok hair plugs. I'm currently a bald woman, ok you bald men that are being kept up at 1am worrying over your baldness, get over it and go to sleep. Next.

1-800 party line. So here's a young woman dressed to the nines in her whore gear, call me now and we can have a party. What can I say? If that's how you want to spend your money and if you can go to sleep after? hey go for it. Not for me. Next.

A matress. A Mattress! Ok I actually get this one. It's 1am, you can't sleep, hey it's the mattress you are sleeping on keeping you awake. I wouldn't buy a mattress without testing it out but, this is a sleep number mattress so you don't have to test it out. You can adjust it whatever your needs are and finally, finally get the sleep you deserve. Ok I can actually see the point to selling this at 1am.

Ah at last logic and order is restored!