Scaring the Newbies

When I went for my iron infusion this past Thursday, it was done at the same place I go to have chemo. And it was done where I have the chemo done. Since we weren't going to be there long I didn't sit in one of the chemo booths but, went ahead and sat in chemo row. Now the booths are these semi private blocked off cubicles with a lounging chair and a 2nd chair for your support person to sit in. But, its has windows on the sides and is pretty much open so the nurses can see you but you get a sense of being somewhat blocked off from others. Chemo row is just a row of lounge chairs side by side. No one else that morning was sitting in chemo row so dad and I sat in two of the chairs. I wasn't paying attention, just sat down. Now after it was done I had to sit there for 30 minutes to make sure I didn't have a reaction and it was then that I realized I had chosen a chair that was right in line with the door you go through to enter. So I was the first thing you see when someone came in. I became amused by the reaction of people because I had my hat off (its more comfortable to sit in a reclining chair without a hat on). Now old cancer veterans or people who had started treatment would see me, make eye contact and I would smile and they would smile back. But, the couple of newbies that were coming in for doctor appointments. Oh that was hard. They would glance and glance away but then need to look back. No smiles and you could see horror and smell fear. Yea baby here's your future. Yep I was scaring the newbies. I was their reality about to happen. Bald head. IV stuck in the arm.

I won't be sitting in the on display chair again.