Battle of the Bowels

Well those of you who know me, know I'm a creature of routine. I like a schedule. Not so ridged as to be inflexible but, I live a routine. Now up until cancer has taken over my life (temporarily) my routine in regards to my bowels have been thus: wake up, stagger to the bathroom, plop buns on the porcelain, take a load of my mind, take a gander at what I produced, perhaps sigh with satisfaction and move on with life. Unless ill or having ingested something bad just simply didn't give my bowels more thought than that. But, now with chemo I have my medical team telling me you have to "manage your bowels". Manage your bowels, yes sir this is the terminology that is being used. Really? Exactly how does one do that, because you all know managing is right up my alley. I can do this. Yes, you want me to manage something bring it on. But we are talking about touchy bowels here. One amount of fiber at one meal is good. All is quiet on the intestinal front. Next meal well, I'm dashing to bathroom shouting I did not give the order to jump to light speed. I don't think there is any managing to be done. Nope because the intestines are just at full rebellion. The trick here is just to keep them from going completely out of control. I'm starting to get a handle on it some what.

Friday morning I had an appointment with my physician assistant. Before the appointment I had a bowel movement and when I gander at what I had produced I was very pleased. There for the first time in a week was a well formed turd floating on quiet seas of the toilet bowl. My PA says so how are you doing? I said oh very well. This morning I made a poo, with shape. Yes it was a well shaped poo. I don't think I have ever seen someone horrified and trying desperately not to laugh simultaneously.

I have been told to manage my bowels and I'm going to be proud of every well shaped poo I produce!