I'll be talking to someone and they will ask me a question about the cancer. During my answering a look will pass across their face. That look is "thank God it's not me". It's a brief flash that is quickly replaced by guilt. Guilt for feeling this way and guilt for it not being them. Guilt for feeling relieved that it's not them. This too is quickly replaced, by compassion. Now, I'm not in anyway saying the compassion is not genuine. It is. BUT, thank God it's not you. I thank God it's not you.
The treatment for this disease is life disrupting at its best. And it brings forth the little nagging life uncertainties that we carry in the back of our brains, front and center and throws a big spot light on it.
I will share something that I have learned that I think is of value for everyone living on this planet with all its uncertainties. I visit fear because it's unreasonable to pretend it doesn't exist BUT I don't live there.
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