Have had this random thought frequently today as I refrained from grabbing the xanax. Yea I know that's what its there for but, I know the anxiety was spiking today due to the doctor's appt. tomorrow and facing more news. Makes you want to stick your fingers in your ears and go lalalalalala. But, before I don the armor and hone my sword to slay the dragon, I need to gather as much information about the dragon as possible.
So on to the random thought:
We are going to die. No dodging that one and while we know this, we don't know how exactly that is going to happen. When life gives you a peek at the possiblity of how that might go down...grab the xanax. But, I didn't, I didn't grab it because I'm reinforcing my armor and honing my sword. And trying to conquer fears.
Bet your ass I'm taking one to sleep though!
Appt is not until 4:30pm. Will update after at some point.
Yep, death. I know most likely what will cause my death too, unless something else gets me sooner. Makes you want to grab something for sure. Time eases that impulse though. Time. Finite, infinite, everywhere and nowhere. One of the most precious commodities on this plane of consciousness. Use it well and that's the best one can do.
ReplyDeleteHere's a happy note.... I fear death constantly. Every time I leave the house, especially if it's without the kids, this little voice in the back of my head whispers to me, "This could be it you know, one big car accident and *poof* you're a goner. How will James find out? How long will the kids sit at home waiting for you to return only have daddy come home and deliver the news?" Yep, that's what the little voice whispers. I spend a lot of time choking it back otherwise I'd be all over that xanax action.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's not that I fear dying. I'm not worried about what will happen to me after I'm gone, I worry about the kids.
OK, I'm getting off that topic now because I'm working myself up.
Where's the xanax!
That was helpful wasn't it? LOL!
Here I am Pam, I'm reading because even though I talk to you on the phone I feel certain that I'm missing out on something by not being here.
Love you Pam!