Tick tock tick tock

Oh the waiting. I go to the oncologist on Friday at 4:30. Until then just waiting and trying not to second guess anything. The doctor isn't second guessing anything which is why the additional test so, I shouldn't either.

Am now flip flopping on the bilateral mastectomy as the decrease in getting cancer in the other breast well, those stats are all over the place. So now I am perhaps leaning away from that decision. I just refuse to put wear and tear on my body out of pure fear. It has to be a sound decision with something to back it up. Thus the genentics testing I'm hoping will put some light on that decision.

Deaths from breast cancer have been steadily declining over the last ten years, however, the number of women deciding to have a bilateral is increasing. This has the medical community baffled. Well I can tell them why (because we all know I have all the answers) because women are making fear based decisions. Because obviously they are not getting the information they need to make a sound decision or its not being explained to them correctly. Also an added bonus is that now they are doing breast reconstruction at the time of the breast surgery to remove the cancer. So all surgery in one shot. While this is nice guess what? its easier for the plastic surgeons to make two new matching knockers than it is for them to try and get one to look like the other one. So, if a woman says I'm thinking of bilateral, the plastic surgeon is more likely to say yea. Ok this is why you don't let surgeons diagnose you. Its why I'm seeing a oncologist before making any final decisions about surgery. The radiologist let me know it was cancer, my surgeon filled me in on surgery options but no one has actually told me what I'm dealing with here other than its aggressive. And yet most women will make a surgery decision and go into surgery with that alone. The fear when first diagnosed with cancer is a ball grabbing all consuming fear. I had to take xanax just to be able to hear and comprehend what was being said to me. But, given a bit of time that does abate somewhat. Which is where I'm at now. And I feel I'm at a place where I can make a sane decision. At least that's what I'm hoping!