Connect the dots?

I thought I was doing ok. Really. Emotionally and with the xanax I thought I had a handle on stuff. Then last night I decided to take a bath and relax a bit. After I had my clothes off, I took a gander in the mirror to see how my bruising is coming along. What I saw besides the colorful bruising was about 15 black dots. I thought shit, what kind of bruising is that, what is going on here? Then I took some water and soap to one of those spots and it faded. Then it hit me, its medical sharpy pen marks. Its not bruising. Now I'm standing there a bit numb because someone drew 15 dots on my boob around my tumor site and......I can't remember who, hell I can't remember it being done.

I remember the ultra sound tech making an X under my arm yesterday and sure enough I checked and it was there. They rechecked some lymph nodes yesterday. Everything looked normal which was a huge relief as I didn't have to have another needle pushed into me. But, I don't think she did the dots.

I think it was the surgeon. She took some pics with a camera. Which was weird. Never had anyone take pics of my boobs before. And she tells me don't worry your face isn't in any of them. You know, that just made it creepier. I almost said what are you going to put these on the internet? I held back. Yea thinking back, she must have been the one to do connect the dots.

I should get an oncologist referral today and it will be off to the races again.